Review of Full Moon, Brandy

In 2002, the newly 23 year-old Brandy released her third studio album, Full Moon. Its lead track of the same name was my introduction to this project, but as I revisit it often, different songs stick out. Right now, “I Thought” is sitting as its most evocative song, replacing the formidable “When You Touch Me”’s top seating in my mind in previous listens. It’s funky and bass-y in a way 2000s R&B does, making you want to pop off as an empowered scorned lover. But “I Thought” is also emblematic of how the 17 track album feels all the feels and gets down in the blues of betrayal; it wades in and makes itself home into the muck of frustration, a feeling I more often breeze past these days because incredulousness, particularly at the failure of a relationship, is really hard.

Like universe-bending, mind-shatteringly hard. When Brandy sings “I thought we could be (yes I really did)” and “Though youuu were mineee” feels so, like..’bats eyelashes, blank stare’ like yes… I, in fact, trusted you.. and you acted a monkey fool. But as I listen again, “thought you were mine” rings moreover like a resigning sigh and feels conclusive. Like a shrugging “not my fault you were terrible to me”. It’s so apt “When You Touch Me” is right after; Brandy has moved on and is in a whole new dynamic with a new lover she longs for and uncontrollably ruminates on in anticipation for their reunion.

Honestly the narrative arc for Full Moon is my favorite thing about the album. She starts out with this kismet connection and ends with ‘I’d die without you’- sandwiching the album with very very intense limerence and later, adoration. The beginning of the album is more so the common relationship feelings, primarily around falling in love and super sexy ballads (the ‘super’ is courtesy of ‘When You Touch Me’). It’s dancey + iconic, clearly illustrating how it has warranted its reputation as a vocal and music production bible. There is so much play in how Brandy traverses avatars such as the ‘only girl in the world’-type all-powerful lover (”All In Me”), a good woman who just can’t take anymore mistreatment (”I Thought” + “Apart”), the freaked-out and touch-starved paramour (”When You Touch Me” + “Like This”), and just a girl finding love in the club (”Full Moon”).

I could listen straight through to track 1 - 7 (the transitions!? incroyable) and do so often. But then arrives the middle of the album. Here, I find myself in a shoreless abyss of unhappy relationship songs. Brandy is trying to keep the relationship together by fire (”Come A Little Bit Closer”) or force (”Can We”). “Can We” feels like the beginning of the end and asks ‘I know you want go but can we figure it out?’ Sonically comparable to “I Thought”, in “What About Us?” Brandy is saying “you can go because you’re not all the things you claimed, but also why are you leaving me?” Woof. On one hand, she is left high and dry, unsatisfied with not reaping the love that was promised, but also there is a resignation/resentment to being left behind. The next song “Anybody” is a sneaking-with-your-ex anthem and reminds me of Aaliyah’s “Come Back in One Piece” and ”Are You That Somebody”. Another stand-out for “Anybody” is the intro; very alté, think forest-sounds and the moments before Amaarae sings “sexy sexy sexy sexy sexy sexyyyyy”.

“Nothing” is the shining jewel of the second half of the album. Maybe it is because I am seemingly always mourning a situationship but the track is so pretty and desperate in a way I can really respect. While I have been called away from the ministry of spinning the block, I know the tailspin of needing someone #sodamnbad and the song balances the misery and compulsion with these beautiful breathy vocals and well-placed guitar licks. It’s so strawberry yakurt meets the glamorous angst of Waiting to Exhale (1995) meets the hazy flower petals on Lil’ Kim’s Hardcore album cover.

“It’s Not Worth It” has a classic R&B sound and is so pleasantly fast-slow, but Brandy is in full on ‘don’t leave me’ mode. I genuinely don’t know if it’s misogyny or misandry but I can hear male RNB artists whine “don’t leeeave me girrrrrl” over and over again without getting tired but with Brandy, it does not sit well. Michael Jackson is on the backing vocals!! It does sound great though, even on previous projects, Brandy expresses extreme devotion, seen on songs like “Put That on Everything” which is a little intense becasue why do we want 20 year old girls singing about making the ultimate sacrifice fueled by their undying love for their 20 year old male counterparts, I presume..? This phenomenon is connected to the adultification of Black girlhood to me - you RE TRYING TO MEDIATE THIS gaze by leaning into a sort of innocent maturity. Monica comes up when I think of this phenomenon -also entered the limelight as an R&B darling young. Singing my heart out to “One of Them Days” was such a sweet joy when I was super young, like high school, but I never really connected why I would getting crazy side-eye from my mom.

I have been known to skip “He Is” but I conceptually love love LOVE the singular-religious-song-towards-the-end-of-an-iconic-RNB-album phenomenon i.e. The Emancipation of Mimi’s “Fly Like a Bird”. I don’t know if it’s actually secular but I think the best R&B tend to veer into the genre’s churchalicious foundation, whether it be in mimicking the emotional pull of gospel and worship music through instrument arrangement or in song structure where there is indubitably a rousing bridge. It wouldn’t be a biblically accurate break up depiction without “Come A Little Bit Closer”, a steady earworm on getting it on one last time. “Love Wouldn’t Count Me Out” is a proper slow, sad, piano-heavy break up song. The background vocals help the song pick up a bit and by the second chorus one can properly hit a slow grind or a solemn body roll to it. But don’t get it twisted; Brandy is sad sad.

But then, out of nowhere, with TWO more tracks until the end of the album, we get hit across the face with “WOW”. Suddenly, Brandy is back in love. The intro is SO GOOD with this little synthesizer riff akin to the beginning of Brandy’s “I Wanna Be Down” and Tony Shhnow’s “Tush Push”. However I find this track a little ambiguous; Brandy’s met someone, everything in her universe is aglow explicitly because of her new man and now “every day she wears a smile”. This is a huge tonal jump and I can’t tell if 1) she found herself a rebound and still has much a-healing to do but in the meantime, she’s taking 4 minutes and a couple seconds to flex. And that’s allowed! or 2) She’s truly being loved right and wants to brag on her man.

The thing is, the praise is just so heavy handed. After going on a long 7-track run of grief, insecurity and introspection, “WOW” comes off like a silver bullet attempting to halt a hurricane. The depth and richness in Brandy’s voice flows through me and bounces inside my chest, but the arrangement and harmonies are less experimental, creating a sonic tidiness that does not resonate with me as much as earlier songs. Long periods of grief can be a reminder of the stakes of love, making the shallow flings less palatable and giving us prudence. But they also show how transformative it is to let new love in. Hmm. In my most recent listens of “WOW”, I come away feeling like ‘let Brandy have her little perfect Prince Charming!’ After all, if a relationship doesn’t start off in a blind inferno of ecstatic bliss with someone you’ve been dating for 2 seconds, what’s the point?

The final track of Full Moon, “Die Without You”, a cover of hip-hop duo PM Dawn 1997’s “I’d Die Without You” confuses me. Like, in its purpose, the inclusion of Ray-J, Brandy’s younger brother, and its message (it’s very Tems-esque; it sensual but I’m not totally sure what’s being communicated. it feels like a break-up song and a love song and no shade it being performed by siblings does not help clarify this). But Ray-J going “is it MY turrrrn” is gold. Go crazy, Ray-J. It’s your world.

I used to think Full Moon was too long, with the second half hard to get through. But in returning to the album in its entirety, I take away a real story that when Brandy was creating it at 23, would stand the test of time and speak to this 23-year-old nearly a quarter-century later. It moves me, whisks me away to a world not unlike my own; over the course of 17 tracks, we traverse the lunar cycle of love and loss, skipping a few wanings here and waxings there to bask under the light of full moon, eager to be back under the spell of love. There is, however, a cost to not honoring the cosmic natural order and Brandy’s next run through the phases of heartbreak all over again feels imminent but I, for one, look forward to taking that journey with her every time. ❣️

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